He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
