Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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