i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
