Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Randomize
