And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Randomize
