i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
