You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
