Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
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