Small penises have feelings too.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
