i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
