I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
