I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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