You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
