You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
