I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
It's like God shit irony all over that family
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
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