Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
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