At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Randomize
