i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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