Tell her she can't have a vagina
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
