I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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