she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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