Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
