when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
