I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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