So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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