You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
