He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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