I wannas sexs uuuuu
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize