Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Randomize
