this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
