I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
