I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
i think my cat just said my name.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
