Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
