i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
It was like getting head from an anaconda
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
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