so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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