you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
