Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
