her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
