Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
