was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
So many bounce houses so little time
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
