I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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