I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
i drank out of a bidet.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
