Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
Randomize
