porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Who did Billy Mays play for?
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Randomize
