I just cut my nipple shaving
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize