just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
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