Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
