I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
