mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
