They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
