Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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