i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
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