Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
time to smoke my breakfast
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
