Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
i now understand why vodka
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Randomize
