I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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