I feel great
I just peed on a car
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
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She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
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I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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