Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
