god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Randomize
