I bet he comes in French.
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Randomize
