Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
