Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
